Handicapped 26

Last ending

This is a remote city far away from the luxury of live. Far away from love, this is my heart. 

This might be a story for some people might be an inspiration or might be an experience for someone whom I sketch, but rather then all above, this is a story of love finding and self looking and loving.

This is the last chapter, I wrote a little sweet little things for him, who told me that I will find that mr right, and who old me that I am lovable, though bad romance happened on us too, used to!  

Romantisme yang Tertunda

Episode 25

Bukan bersama dengan gemericik suara anak anak yang memelas, 

Bukan dengan tante tante yang bersuara bass

Tetapi hanya berdua menyusuri jalan setapak yang tidak beralas, namun itu hanya romantisme yang tertunda.

Sekarang, kembali ke realita, ada anak berisik minta minum dengan suara memelas, ada tante yang bersuara bass! Kami berjalan ramai ramai dan Aku tidak mengerti bahasa khas, aku di antara mereka. 

Berhalusinasi tentang romantisme yang tertunda. 

Dan Aku

Episode 24

Lihat! 

Lihatlah engkau! 

Seorang gadis terduduk kusam

Diatas loteng yang sepi, 

Ditengah subuh memulai sahur

Ia sedang bersedih 

Raut wajahnya tirus,

Menggambarkan rasa duka

Sungguh pedih!

Sakit!!!

Namun, apa gerangan?

Mengapa hati ini kian sakit,

Kiat menusuk relung!

Apa yang dirasakan? 

Apakah patah hati atau

Kekecewaan akan hidup? 

Turbulance

Episode 23

To be honest, in my twentieth for an asian i feel like being chase my time, i love my career as much as i love my self and in the other hand, my daddy seems to be very concern and damn excited about my future husband his son in law

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Do you know turbulance while you are in a plane? Yes, it is when the plane is shaking and making people inside the plane doing heart sport

It is exciting and terrifying experiences isnt it? 

But when the turbulance is over, you might thanks the god or anything you believe in, perhaps father J for most people 

This is what commonly happened in people live, they meet problem and they will struggle and if they pass the problem or they made it and then they will do what passenger in the air plane do, but whatn if they don't ?

That's the point, what do you choose to be thanks giving in all you have or to chase what you want until you collapsed? I don't judge! I'm not telling that being greedy is a sun or being monotone will make your live better, here is how you want your live to be. Live up ur life!!!

THE MATADOR

Episode 22

 Welcome to Spain!

Listen to the beat, the voice of step of the dance, and wait! The matador, yes... The braveness and how they treat the angry ox with their calming killing acts 

Often, things happen so sudden we don't even have enough time to settle it, and suddenly we  feels like the most stupid and dumb person in the world. We even so confused on our aim, what shall we do? An many other how why and whom? Actually that's the problem of life, don't think too much. 

Do things that make you happy and smile 

And well,?if you're really hasitating what are you going to do for the rest of your time, then just do nothing, to push your self too much, because it only drive you crazy to your unwanted life. 

Cheers, 

Be happy

Enjoying my Danish with raisin and oh ya

A up of Darjeeling! Happy day

MY BEAUTIFUL EX

Episode 21:

When you say, you want her to be happy,

You do the prayer

The chant

All about her,

Wish her luck, wish her happiness

You seems to take me as your buddy,…

A friend, but why am I so hurt, when all things you do is about her

All the things you discussed is about her

Sometime, I think she is so lucky…

I am envy…

And I’m happy to make you happy

But, why am I hurt?

I wish I could do it without participating my feeling

I hope that feeling lost long time ago, died

But, it grow now…

What shall I do?

When you prayer for her,

I do prayer for you

I never tell you, because I am..

Not willing to make you dilemma

I, don’t want to be your dilemma,

I want to be your happiness

I want you to be happy

As your guarding angel, listening to you

And always borrow you my shoulder…

Whenever you need it,

My beautiful ex…

Now playing, jay chow ming ming jiu,… followed by jason mraz when I was your man.

PARANOID

Episode 20

Papa say :

“Don’t step on two boats at once,

Because when both go, you are the one who fall.”

This girl is lucky, she has an innocent face, people love her, she is well socialized, she is pretty much interesting and stunning. Though a little bit fat,

She is in a long distance relationship, not very long actually, but she is been going steady with a guy for almost 8 month, and for her, it is doesn’t seems interesting. Because, of the long distance, okay it might be an excuse for some people, but yes it is in some point.

Then, she finally met a man, a thirtieth man, not very far away, and they go steady without any planning, well of course that guy do not seems to know the truth, but this girl also do not seems to very fond of this guy,

What is she doing?

She is scared, I think she is paranoid of the status, and yes she is.

Since she is writing this, on her own, she do not even know how to explain. 

THE TOPAZ

Episode 19

the winds blow slowly and it touch my skin, yes... i can feel it, how the wind touch my skin,... the blue calming topaz sea surrounds me, i am on the  boat of happiness, the boat has bring me to the middle of the sea the sources of happiness. it is fun and a little bit of scaring.

~

The road is a narrow, the greens, not. not the greens for me of course it is the greens for those animal and preys, they are the king they are the owner of this places, i am just a cross by human, i am just the stranger here.

I hereby to enjoy the scenery of the other world, the world which is far, far away from crowd, nobody knows me, the things that they see, is me... the simply me without any secret. of course,...

here once more, i can see how the birds sing, i... humph, i wish i also can sing with them! they brings love song and the song of joy!

how beau, it is one of my unforgettable journey...

METRO SOCIETY

Episode 18

Okay, let’s see, this is what has been happening in a metropolitan society,

One of my sister, of course not a blood related sister, she is even nicer and nearer. Okay, she FALL in love with a guy, from our neighborhood country which is Singapore.

Further then, how do they stay connected anyway? Well, she has been uploading facebook picture anytime, go online, and stay on her smart phone, currently is Samsung Galaxy. Er, whenever and wherever.

Well, that’s not the main reason I am complaining here, for her soft and killing way of loving, and flirting with that guy, the problem is I found problem with that guy, he is just way to perfect, too perfect as a boy, and too, a playboy.

“yeah, you may talk to me,

make me laugh and say the sweetest things.

But how many other girls are you doing that to?”

I think that super perfect sweet boy is having an affair, okay, that not called an affair, there are not yet married… supposed to be called “another close friend”, how do I know? Because “nothing is perfect” I used to see things from different way, I know how do people act when they do typical things, and here is it, I am demanding my friend, to better check on his facebook, that fvcking society website, at the beginning my friend rejected to do that, because that’s his privacy, and I say “and what if, his privacy, hurt you?”

Here thing goes, than my friend go to Singapore and finally catch the chance to spy her boyfriend’s laptop, and as what I guess for, he is just way too perfect, to be a good boy.

Yes, he is being dishonest to my friend, he is having another girl outside,…

And how does my friend feel? What did she told me?

“my bf never go outside, he is always staying home and the camp”

“whenever he go out, he will inform me first”

“wherever he were, he will told me”

“he only goes with his gaming friend, I don’t really mind either”

“on Saturday usually he always goes with his parent, no time for another girl”

That’s the real fvcking woman in love! She (myfriend) believe so much in that bastard! And see what?

My friend cries, and she is denying everything…included her own feeling.

FREEZE

Episode 17

Kamu suka makan eskrim? Aku suka banget :-)

Pernah merasakan sedikit ngilu di kepala pada saat makan es krim?

Sometime, I really thank you for the innovator of ice cream, I owe her/he a lot, because every time I felt sad, I am looking for ice cream, at least it can make me feel better it feels like it can almost freeze my brain and my heart, so that I don’t think too much and felt too hurt.

Remember, in the book of Ajahn Bram he said that when problems come and you don’t know what to do… so, just do nothing.

Hakuna matata!

LOST IN LOVE

Episode 16

Oops I did it again, I play with you heart and got ‘lock’ in the game…

Her stilettos are knocking the floor, she comes in to the hotel where I work in, she is wearing a smoothie dove dress, quite lovely and elegant.

She speaks well, she seems to be very socialized person, she loves to communicate and very expressive, well, compared to people here!

She is a girl, which I don’t know… yet, she don’t know me too…

30 minutes after check in, she ring me and asked to reserve a taxi for her, it is already 10 pm, quite late for a woman to go out, 15 min later she comes out from her room near the corridor, she is thousand faces lady, incognito magnificent…

Look at her, no more elegancy, no more high class office style dove dark dress, she is now a cute little sweet girl, wearing a pink t shirt with a white pants, white sneaker keds shoes, with a buoyant touch of blush on, she walk away and got in to the taxi…

Not too long, she takes about an hour, seems like she is having her dinner outside, and not long after she comes out again, but not looking for taxi, she asked me whether can I called the waiter to tidy up table and pew on the pool side, of course my lady.

Soon, to guys come in, and go directly to the pool, they seems to be having quite fun topic and they laugh loudly, well.. another her… not caring about her image and laughing and laughing without comas and juncture.

They day after,  she woke up early in the morning before I left the hotel and left my shift, my Christmas eve shift, I saw her, swimming on the floor with a bluish tank top and short black pants, she is a quite good swimmer, flowing left and right in an amazing charm.

Well, I went home and I heard from a woman from a morning shift, she said they seems like she is using double name, somehow to lie someone, because couple hours before she left to the airport, there is a man, waiting for her, with his eyes red and watering, well… tears,…

And that man call that lady,…

FAITH

Episode 15

有缘千里来相会，无缘过桥不相识

Yǒuyuán qiānlǐ lái xiāng huì, wúyuánguò qiáo bù xiāngshí

If you own destiny, thousand miles you might meet him,

 if you don’t have destiny you don’t even know him if you are crossing the same bridge.

Do you believe in faith? If you don’t, please believe that everything happens for a reasons, why do I write? Why do you I share? why do we meet? Why do you read my page?

Yes, that’s what called faith, you read because I post, I post because I want someone to share with me, to know how I feel, to read and enjoy my naughty imagination.

I am here for a reason, as a daughter of my parents, as a sister for my brothers, as a teacher for several students, as a secretary for my boss, as a friend for my friend, as enemies for the who think I am,…

So, why do you cry for your lost? You should be grateful… don’t worry to much, He has a better plan, behind all this, because everything happens for a reason.

Listening to crystal flower from the Original Sound Track of Disney…

MY EX

Episode 14

Flashing back,

I am walking on the borderline, slowly pointing my flat shoes on the narrow road,

Looking for something, called adventure,

But, how do I start? When do I start? My road of exciting adventure?

I am confused…

------------------

That guy, a small little tiny guy coming out from the door of arrival at the Polonia airport Medan, he is wearing a clumsy shirts, which perhaps has been used and used, with short pants, he seems enjoying the flight, but his lining small single eyelid eyes looks swollen. Umm, perhaps he was born that way…

He is an architect, and he is my boyfriend,… do you love him? No, I am not… to be honest, I have never been in love for more than a month, I am easy, not easy to have, I am easy to get involved in love, but it turns out more easier for me to forget…

I will only cherish you, if you are unreachable, yep, that’s me!

We are planning on our holiday towards Brastagi in Medan Sumatera Utara of Indonesia, we are going to climb and enjoy our holiday to the waterfall of hope, the blue and white waterfall.

At last, we arrive, and I find out, he is a nice person indeed, but he doesn’t look good at all, I am blind that time,  beyond the blindfold.

People says that love makes you blind, indeed, I am blind that time, i have plenty of great looking guy waiting for me, so why must I insist of getting him?

And that from that moment, I realize, I am stupidly in love….

I am trying to pull myself together, I am emotionally controlled by him, I lost because I fall, days by days… we spent our day together, to the theme park, swimming in an extra cold pool, hugging, kissing, and loving each other, till the last day of our holiday, I find out, he has an affair with one of my friend.

There it goes, I am sad… I am desperate, i know, this is my fault, I knew ‘fall’ in love is a mistake, because ‘fall’ makes you hurt.

I am also sad, since I am not going to laugh twice for jokes which has been repeated, why I am feeling sad for the same things boys did to me?

That’s my love story, 6 months of relationship, 7 days of intermezzo meeting and holiday and a lifetime of memory, my heart has broken, and could you find each part and put it together again?

Now listening to Shania Twain – From this moment, an universal love song,…

Dedicated to one of my intermezzo, the architect of my unforgettable love story, an architect who built love for me and who ruin it… IiL*

AGE GAME

Episode 13

Wedding? Marriage? Commitment?

As a woman of course I am looking for a fabulous weddding ceremony, but not the married life

A a woman of course i need sex,but not the irritating husbanizer pleasure,

As a woman I also need rings, engagement ring, wedding ring, but not suffering

As a woman i also wanna be loved, but not hooked by love,

And yeah i know it sounds odd a little bit of logic area, but I rather be one’s mistress, i know it is difficult when you are in love, and you know i am just a broken hearted woman, but I didn’t say that i am contra to a marriage.

All i say is what i saw, what i feel,... i also do need a marriage but of course it is a need, not a must.

Certain aged woman, >30 are more difficult to find their mate, even pillow mate.

Why? Because when people grew older, their ego also grew bigger.

So, women are not going to listen to men, and men also not going to listen to women, that’s why it is difficult for them to get certain to their hectic life after being coupled.

Indonesian, sometime may say something like this (applied pratically)

Age 16-25 Who Am I? Siapa saya?

Age 25-35 Who is he? Siapa dia?

Age 35-40 Whoever! Siapa saja!

When the lays and lads are young they are looking for love, and love them and they will stick with it, and when they grew older when they succeed,people are looking for them, and they definitely will ask, who are you? What do you have?

Last, when they grew old, whoever is just fine! Their heart is tired and they need a rest.

That’s what fact taught us....

CALLING BACK

Episode 12

At a little romantic cafe in Bandung,

Hak tinggi 17 cm menjenjang kaki nya, tack tack tack kira kira begitulah suaranya, suara yang beradu dengan lantai cafe remang tersebut yang terbuat dari bahan kayu yang berwarna cokelat.

Keadaan cafe malam itu cukup ramai, maklum, Saturday night, long weekend romantic night for a date, gadis tersbeut menggulung rambutnya keatas dengan beberapa helai rambut yang jatuh ke pangkalan lehernya yang jenjang dan dihiasi seuntai kalung silver mini namun glamour.

Dress nya berwarna silver kemilau, indah menjuntai sampai dengan atas lutut, dengan belahan dada yang sedikit mengintip dan gerakannya yang begitu gemulai namun tegas, memantulkan ke anggunannya diantara semua pengujung cafe tersebut. Terasa beberapa sorot mata adam yang mulai melirik kehadirannya.

Ia melangkah perlahan menuju sebuah tempat duduk yang tidak menerima orang ketiga diantara meja dan kursi tersebut, dengan dikelilingi oleh lampu malam yang mungkin dapat membuat orang terlena kasmaran untuk beberapa jam. Ia duduk pada sebuha kursi kayu, sorotya tertuju pada panggung yang menampilkan seorang pria penyanyi cafe yang berperawakan tinggi, dan macho.

Namun, bukan itu yang ditunggu oleh gadis ini,kelihatannya ia menunggu seseorang yang membuat ia geregetan, dari gerak geriknya kelihatan bahwa ia gelisah, mencoba melirik ke handphone yang ia gunakan, sepertinya sampai dengan saat ini sekitar seperempat jam ia menunggu masih belum muncul batang hidung orang yang ia tunggu.

Sang penyanyi cafe, mulai memberikan kesempatan kepada pengunjung cafe untuk unjuk gigi kemampuan bernyanyi, kelihatannya ia sangat percaya diri, seakan akan tidak ada yang dapat mengalahkan suara bass nya, suara berat yang khas.

Dengan langkah sedikit gontai, gadis yang menarik perhatian saya dari tadi menuju ke panggung, dan

“today, I am a heart broken woman, I am depressed”

Seluruh pengunjung cafe hening, semua mata terarah pada gadis tersebut, ada yang menatap sedih, menatap aneh, menatap bingung, bahkan ada beberapa tatapan hampa,

he left me, after he hold my hand, he left me after i kissed him

yes, i am falling in love

and yes i know, falling is hurt,

he ignore me now,

thought, i am trying my best

giving my best surprise,

giving my best concern,

he yet, still says “we only can simply be a friend”

dari kejauhan seorang pria dengan polo shirt putih dan young jeans levis mencoba memerdirikan lehernya yang kurus, ia mengenali gadis tersebut, namanya Victoria Angel, seorang gadis yang pernah menyatakan cinta kepada dirinya.

Namun kini di depannya, seorang gadis yang ia cintai begitu dalam, begitu dalam..

Gadis tersebut meraih microphone, dan mulai mengambil suara,...

Now listening to Leona Lewis Bleeding Love,... I miss you Tuddy, i have tried my best to forget about you, but something is hard to forget, go and find your future thats what sweet little secret told me : ) four clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

JEWEL

Episode 11

A woman, with her long wavy brown hair, big charming eyes, starring at a guy, a guy who she used to love the most, and now, that guy turns into her best friend, boyfriend.

How come? Yet, the story is long story to tell,

This woman, then started her chant, she asked and she whisper it silent, she asked, my best friend usurp my boyfriend, my boyfriend also fall for her.

She said that “I am so sad, and disappointed, my heart is broken, I don’t know why, these things happened to me”

She started to cry out loud, sobbed, her tears fall down from the edge of her eyes, it shines but it is vividly blue.

That guy, with his hand so strong hugged her, and with his undertone,… he said “don’t worry honey, be grateful… God has a better plan”

People will never realize how lucky they are, until they felt depressed

People will never know how healthy they are, until they felt all sick

People will never know how wealthy they are, until they are penniless.

People will never know,

How much they love, until they lost…

So, be grateful, god has a better plan.

Now playing Melodies of Life – Original Sound track from Final Fantasy, this song reminds me of IS. Member of SiS, she is actually a pretty girl, un carved jade,… a pearl inside the shell… 

A Forever Good Night

Episode 10

A forever good night

There will be always a sweet good night from a friend, perhaps he is a special friend. He is being good to me, listening to me, and understanding me for almost 3 years, of course I stupidly know that, it is not that easy. He has wants from me, yes, he is loving me and I know, he is silently wanting me to love him as well.

Well, humanly speaking, I cannot say that feeling is not attaché, but to describe it well, he is the most good candidate as a husband, he is good, working hard, listener, and who will definitely love you, treat you good for the rest of your life.

So, are you going to marry him?

I am not that naïve, and stop being that naïve, is he going to wait for you? Oh, there other way of speaking, are you expecting him to wait for you? Or okay, other way of speaking, do you want him to wait for you?

Huh? Seems confusing, that’s what happening to me now, and let’s say, do you want a happy married life? Of course, okay, come to the most basic question ever, are you planning and preparing yourself to get into marriage? Er, I am not sure, that’s the point. I don’t even think I can or I will get married.

So, what do you enjoy honey?

I enjoy the process before in love,… because before you fall there is some kind of sweet interlude, and I love the interlude. How it treats me and magically it shakes my emotion.

Because by falling, you will hurt, that’s why it is called fall in love, if you don’t want to get hurt, don’t play with it. If you are planning to fall in love, and then, obviously you are also planning to get hurt as well, that’s the point.

So far, how do you think? What are you thinking of?

Are you saying that- you are scared for being in love because you know that you will definitely hurt?

Now listening to marriage de amour, from Richard Clayderman, a sad melancholy music sheets, I am going to play it.

06:27 YOU!

Episode 9

Jam dinding bersuara memberi nada malam sepi

Tik tok tik tok tik tok begitu katanya…

Ntah kepada siapa ia berseru,

Tidak ada balasan,

Hanya ia sendiri yang berseru,

Tik tok tik tok tik tok begitu derunya.

Ku mencoba memejamkan kedua sangkar jendela hidup

Terpejam, satu dua mungkin tiga detik

Aku terjaga kembali di tengah tengah keheningan malam

Dan sekali lagi terdengar bisikkan

Tik tok tik tok tik tok, bisikkan jam dinding

Kemudian, aku berjalan gontai,

Ku redupkan kedua penerang

Kembali berjalan lamban pelan,

Memasuk kilipatan kain penghangat

Dan kembali, ku mencoba

Memejamkan kedua pijar bintang,

Satu dua tiga, tidak lama kemudian,

Aku kembali terjaga.

Otak kumasih bekerja optimal,

Memikirkan beberapa hantu

Beberapa hantu yang mengelabui kusaat ini

Salah satu dari hantu itu adalah,

Kamu.

07:16 LET IT GO

Episode 8

Flashback,

What a tiring day, I finally got to my hotel room and take a bath hilariously, I got a date tonight with that special person, our date is on 18:30 PM.

I am done, he is not picking me up at my hotel, instead he is picking me up at a mall and shopping center, 5 minutes, 15 minutes, 50 minutes,… I have been waiting… and waiting, finally he come on 20:00 PM, you see, this guy make me wait for approximately almost 2 hours,… but instead of hating him, I feel more to know him, yes… you are right, I am loving this guy, with my heart, god! I got a special feeling on him.

The night doesn’t seems to be fair enough for a date, his white innova is moving slowly, I just can’t take my eyes of him. I am in love.

The date was not wonderful, we are holding hand, and chatting, all the way, but not intimidate, not about family or work, it seems to be a little bit more like a crunchy evening chatting. Yeah, meaningless, though I hope it is meaningful…

A kiss on his cheek end our date, I miss him, so damn bad, what happened with me?

I have never been, so long for so long, never been in love, I always keep my heart closed, but this time, is different, I feel like I am in love, but dream does not last long, when I text him, we both chat once again with some crunchy chatting subject of course, the last word means a lot for me, he broke my heart, no hesitation, he don’t even give me a chance to confess… he say the most cruel thing for a woman in love, let us be friend, a friend forever.

So, that’s the end, I know, I am not going to give up,…

Now starring on a black slim LCD television in my room, a room left by my mom, I am watching a movie from pixar called UP, this dvd is a gift from me, first gift. I miss him, till this moment, I swear I miss him!

Yes, somebody told me, something, it is not about to forget, but to let go.

12:43 STUPID NOON

Episode 7

Cmon move on girls, don’t let he underestimate you.

Gotcha, that’s the right answer when you don’t know what to do because of being hurt so much by a jerk, a bastard, a playboy, the first things you have to do is to realize you are just too pretty and you have to move on, walking in front of that pity guy there.

I know girls, the one who is able to hurt you the most who disappoint you the most is the guy you love the most, and who make you feel comfort and smile the most, but you have to remember that staying in one places for too long only make you feel like a vase, there will be no growth, and changes. Girls, come out from your comfort zone, you need t know more, learn more, this world is still so wide for you to see, so much things to learn, so much people to know, to chat with to have a date with, so why are you standing still? What are you waiting for?

A mellow afternoon,…

06:17 SECRET AFFAIR

Episode 6

Sebuah cuplikan cerita cinta, yang diceritakan oleh seorang gadis muda yang terlihat lemah nelangsa, yang hanya dapat sedikit bercerita tentang penggalaman yang ialewati, ia ingin hal ini tidak terulang pada gadis yang sama tingkat iq mau pun eq nya seperti dirinya.

“ketika kami sudah di ambang perpisahan makan malam, ketika dia sudah mengantarkan sampai di parkiran, sesuatu yang sangat menakjubkan nyaris menerbangkan dan membuang saya kelangit ketujuh dan menenggelamkan saya keneraka Hawiyah. Dia mencium saya! Tidak di bibir(don’t over imagine it), teduh adem ombang kecil menyelimuti mata, dan kemudian berguling kepanas bara membakar hati. Seutuhnya, saya kerasukkan, dan kesadaran saya masih dibawah control, mungkin terombang ambil di tengah lautan, di pulau nan jauh disana, atau mungkin melayang layang diatas langit langit yang indah yang berhiasan bintang malam?

Romantisme yang tercipta topic bicara ringan yang mencengkeram, 1 2 3

Hitungan pengembalian kesadaran saya yang sudah terombang ambing di bumi dan laut, nalar saya masih bekerja dengan fungsi essensial yang paling mendasar.

Sesampai saya dirumah, saya dapat menguak seluruh kesadaran optimal saya yang mungkin masih tersisa di angin angin, mau pun ada beberapa yang masih tertinggal bermain bersama ikan duyung di anggan anggan tadi, he is a married man, and me? I am a young single lady, I am free and available, he has to look after and protect his family, but this is truly a magical sweet affair, okay, people say, affair will always be nice as long as the victim do not realize it, or even worse when the victim realize it you will me dragged to the most painful condition – self conscious sin.

Sebuah cuplikkan cerita yang anggun dan mempesona, dengan sedikit riak romantisme dan dilemma yang mungkin anda adalah ibu rumah tangga yang sedang memaki gadis ini, atau anda adalah seoranggadis yang juga ingin mencoba hal hal yang dikatakan penyimpangan social, atau mungkin anda adalah seseorang yang sedang mengalami hal diatas?

Now playing, yesterday dream from incognito, one of my special friend’s favorite jazz singer with a sense of pop jazz, with a little bit of acid contained, undeniable that’s yesterday dream.

10:41 UNPOSTED

Episode 5

Bagaimana cara anda berpikir menentukan perilaku anda, dan hidup anda.

Seseorang melemparkan sebuah pertanyaan kepadasaya, sembari membawa mobil dan memamerkan lesungpipi yang muncul redup, “jadi menurut kamu fungsi rem pada mobil untuk apa?”

Lah… pie toh? Jelas dong buat ngontrol kecepatan?!

And gothca! You got it wrong,

Guess what did he tell me?

Dengan gaya sebijak sana gatot kaca dengan kumis nya menjulai dan jenggotnya yang sudah mulai lupa di cukur: bagaimana jika saya katakan bahwa fungsi rem adalah untuk menambah kecepatan laju? Dengan adanya rem, maka orang akan berfikir untuk maju dan melakukan hal yang lebih baik, sebenarnya ada beberapa kekurangan manusia yang paling mendasar, salah satunya manusia yang tidak pernah adapuasnya, dengan adanya ketidakpuasan maka manusia akan maju dan mencari yang lebih baik, jadi sebenarnya yang diajarkan dan ditanamkan dalam mindset tidaklah sepenuhnya benar, tergantung bagaimana cara kamu menyeimbangkan semua itu. Tentu saja, semua yang berlebihan juga tidak terasa menarik.Sesekali kamu juga perlu menanamkan cara berpikir seperti itu, maka hidupmu juga akan terasa indah, walaupun ke ‘tiban’ durian, rasanya pun pasti terasa nikmat.

ah this episode reminds me about magic ball @mc jar Nagoya hill.

09:27 LOVE KILLER

Episode 4

Am I feeling lonesome?

Oke, saya ulangi sekali lagi… apakah saya merasa kesepian?Anda mulai mengeryitkan jidat anda, hidung anda mulai kembang kempes membaca kalimat saya.

Jadi, apakah anda juga kesepian?

Kali ini mata anda mungkin sudah membentuk satu garis lurus karena saking fokusnya dengan pertanyaan diatas.Tanyakan kepada hati anda, apakah anda kesepian? Apakah saya kesepian?Miris namun fakta, iya saya kesepian, lantas mengapa saya menolak semua pangeran dan pahlawan yang mencoba menghampiri saya, mengapa?Mungkin masih ada 10 mengapa yang sedang berantrian.

Karena, menurut saya menjalinhubungan dan komitmenitu repot sekali, gusti! Belum lagi jika sesial sial nya anda bertemu dengan seorang pria dictator, keras kepala, childish dan memiliki seluruh keburukan di jagat raya ini, seorang pria yang memuliakan materi?

Ah itu sama saja dengan menjerumuskan hidup anda kedalam jurang malapetaka yang lebih mematikan kebanding meminum racun pemungkas tikus.

Jadi, buatanda yang memilikipacarsepertiitu, atau anda merasa tertekan dikarenakan hubungan anda dengan pacar anda naik turun bak hingus, segera singkirkan batu kerikil di jalan hidup anda! Itu tidak memberikan anda kebahagian yang universal! Anda harus tau, apa yang anda mau dan apa yang anda butuhkan.

Oke, benar semua diatas ditujukan sepenuhnya kepada saya pribadi, sengaja menggunakan Promina ‘anda’ supaya tidak tertembak langsung kelubung hati, namun rasanya boomerang, alhasil sama saja, nyantolnya di jantung.

an insanity in the middle of night, I don’t mind making a joke, but I mind to be one.

I seriously need ice cream now, strawberry sundaes would be nice, anyone could get it for me?

Now playing Elvis Persley, Jail House Rock, a semi pop rock and roll, *laughingoutloudlytillcry* I love this song so much sometime.

11:37 DANCE IN THE RAIN

Episode 3

14 November 2012,

Once, I am failed to love someone, today is his birthday, another H in my life.

I told myself to erase things about him in my mind, I have decided, but when he text me, I still yet, remember his number, thought it had been deleted from my phone book and everywhere,… but yet, I still remembering his number…

This somebody tell me that, yes… the most difficult things is to forget things that you want it best,

So, am I struggling for wanting “HE” best?

Since that H has chosen that little girl there in B town, instead of me, I declare that I lost to the bottom, and I am giving up, I am running away from this problem from the era of milieu.

I won’t let anyone to write on my book of journey, I am going to hold the pen till I die”

Now playing, depapepe weather clock, tonight yes, November rain from gun and roses would be the best to describe this but the vocalist do not seems suitable for my mood now, so, I think raindrops keep falling on my head from BJ Thomas will give me a better solution, life is not about waiting the rain to stop, it is about how do you going to dance in the rain.